WHAT IS COUNSELLING?
People have varied views on counselling, some think it is a complete waste of time as what difference can talking make? Others however, have spent time with a therapist as they have dared to bring into the open the traumas of their past and discovered something amazing happens: they are heard and they are not alone and for some reason everything changes.
I work with many different people who all have unique lives and all the reasons that they look for counselling are different too. They may fall into certain brackets, say- bereavement, but then who can say we can bracket death together as every loss in different too: they may have loved the lost one or maybe not, they may have mixed views on them, all I know is that it is only as you spend time with them that you can understand the details and true feelings about the loss.I am privileged to work with couples who come to see me when a crisis in their relationship arises, often it is because of an affair, but once again all affairs are different too and it is only as they become able that the truth surfaces and what is often very painful is examined.
Victims of sexual abuse are often found sitting opposite me as they gradually, over time take a deep breath and trust me with truths that so often have never seen the light of day, and have definitely never been uttered by them.
Women whose marriages have been full of abuse start to examine the truth of the person they have become as, in the safety of my room, they recognise the lies that they have lived for so long. Speaking these lies out reveals the burden that they have carried.
Children come, teenagers too, some full of hope but often full of pain and loss. And silence reigns as they battle to find words as they sit with me staring truth in the face.
So back to the beginning: what is counselling? It is a space, a safe place eventually, where the worst can be spoken and sometimes the best. It is a safe pair of metaphorical arms that will not break when the worst is said. It is a place where value is not earned but given. A place where I put one foot in another's world whilst keeping one foot safe in mine, it is a place of hope and love.